Need a laugh? Maybe something in this article will give you a laugh… It did for me

1.

Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home.

One boy throws his bag out the window.

Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

2.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately

needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my

gas with the beat of the music.

 

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,

and noticed that everybody was staring at me….

 

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

2.

A guy takes his girlfriend to a football game for the first time.

After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.

Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn’t understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.

Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?

The girlfriend replied, all they kept screaming was: “Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!”

3.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

4.

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.

Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.

The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps

After 2 hours it was Harry’s turn. He turned to the other two and said “Ok guys, here’s my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.

5
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money.

The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.

The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers… we had $100 when we broke in!”

 

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